SHE ---
I watched how his cheeks turn from pale to red... he always fascinates me. Looking closely, I can see his skin glowing from the light of the elevator. I can smell his perfume. I feel a strong urge to touch and kiss his face. He is so cute.
He was busy searching for his ID, seems like he lost it again, which almost happens everyday.
He blushes whenever I say sweet nothings --like today when I said I missed him. We did not see each other yesterday. He just gave me a smile in return. I am such an actress, I pretended to say I miss him as if I was just saying it to a barkada or a cousin or a best bud. I said I missed him, no big deal. But deep inside, my heart is beating faster.
The door opened in the Ground floor. I didn't want to step out of the elevator but I didn't have a choice.
She is waiting outside. She called me last night to let me know that she is going back to him.
He was hers. She was his everything. But they broke up three months ago when he caught her cheating on him.
I became his confidante. I was the shoulders always willing to be leaned on. I was the ears always willing to listen. I was the companion. I was the martyr. The martyr who cares for him selflessly.
He didn't know what to do with his life when they split. He was shattered.
I was there when he got drunk and cried her name out loud in public. I was there when he didn't want to talk to anybody. I brought him to the hospital when he had gastritis. I brought food to his apartment every time he wouldn't eat a thing. I was there. Always there. I almost became a mother of a broken hearted man.
I wouldn't have the guts to do any of it in my own accord. But she is my bestfriend and she asked me to look after him while she's away, head over heels in-love with somebody else.
I want to prove the world I am a true friend that's why I took care of him and besides, he is also my friend. I never thought I will end up loving what I do for him. I later realized that broken hearts are somehow contagious.
He stepped out of the elevator first because I was quietly stuck where I was standing. He never knew his ex was there outside... waiting for us, waiting for him. She is waiting to reconcile with him. She is going to ask for forgiveness and admit that she regret everything she did.
She is going to ask him to take her back and have a new beginning.
My bestfriend hugged me as a way of thanking me for taking care of her man. I saw in his eyes that he was never prepared for the meeting and he looked away from the two of us.
I left them without saying a word. One more second of staying there would really make me cry. The thought of them going back together is hurting me so bad.
No explanations or elaborations are needed for what I feel because I should feel nothing. I don’t have the right to be hurt. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let myself fall for him. He is not going be mine because they belong together. Yes, we became close but it is just because he had no one to turn to. That’s just it.
I arrived home, went to bed and wept. That's all I am entitled to do. I don’t blame anybody. I am happy for them both. Period.
***********
HE---
I could feel her eyes staring at me again. I know I am blushing, I can feel the heat of my face so I pretended searching through my pockets for my ID.
It’s been more than two months when I became close to Reese. She is the reason why I was able to recover from the misery I was in.
She is such a sweet and free spirited woman. I’m proud and lucky to be with her. I feel like a prince walking with a princess whenever we're together. I like it whenever she will hold my arm when we are about to cross the street. I like holding her elbow when riding a vehicle. I like sharing umbrella with her or even eating on the same plate with her.
I have asked myself many times why I courted her bestfriend instead of her. I wasted a year and a half with the wrong woman. It was such a mistake.
If only I knew that her bestfriend will break my heart... oh well, past is past. What's important right now is we're closer than ever and no one can take her away from me.
I feel very grateful to her. She never left my side during the times I was going through hell. I was totally devastated from the break up. She sacrificed several spa sessions and chick flick movies whenever I would ask her to come over or to drink with me in a bar when I was still in post break-up dilemma. She listens. She understands. She cares.
She brought me food on the days I didn't want to eat anything. She brought me back to life. I am now stronger, wiser, better. I wanted to ask her why she is so good to me but I was never sure how to ask it.
Such proximity like this one in the elevator weakens my knees. I want to feel her hair and embrace her. I want to put my arms around her. I want to build new dreams together with her. I see her in my future.
I am certain that I want her. I love her. I’m just not sure if she feels the same but I’m planning to tell her my feelings soon.
Maybe today is not the perfect timing. Maybe I will confess this coming weekend during the movie we are going to watch. I want it to be memorable. Few days won’t hurt us both so I am going to wait until weekend.
She said she missed me. We did not see each other yesterday. My mind is shouting I miss her too but I didn't say it out loud.
There is something different with her when we reached the ground floor of the building. Usually, she'll be stepping out of the elevator first and bug me right away where to eat or if we are going to ride the train or going to take a cab.
I wanted to ask what's wrong with her. Maybe she had a rough day at work. I stepped out of the elevator when I felt she wasn’t ready to go out. She followed, and just when I was about to speak to her, I noticed that she's looking outside the building. I followed the direction of her eyes and saw her bestfriend. My ex - the one who broke my heart. The one who was never contented of me.
I want to ask what is my ex doing here but she walked towards her and they embraced. She turned quickly without a single word and left me with the woman I didn’t want to be with.
I didn’t give my ex a chance to speak. I told her right away that I don’t want to see her or be with her anymore. Everything between us is over.
I walked hurriedly away and get in the first cab I saw. Everything that happened to us and everything she did came back and I felt nothing. I don’t feel anything for her anymore.
All that matters to me now is Reese.
***********
Reese,
I want to start off by admitting that I miss you every time we are apart and forgive me for not saying it to you personally. I guess I am such a coward. I just didn’t really know where I stand. I don’t want to assume that whenever you tell me you miss me it means something more than being friendly. I want you to know you make my heart skip a beat every time you say you missed me and my mind is shouting I missed you too.
I thank you for bringing me back to life. My gratitude is not enough to repay the kindness and care that you showed, I wouldn’t know where I would be right now if not because of all you’ve done for me. It would really be nice if you would take care of me for good.
It was such a long time since I wrote a love letter that’s why my thoughts are scrambled now, yes Reese, this is a love letter and I am writing it for you.
I want to remind you of our movie date on Saturday. Please do come. I have something very important to say.
p.s. I don’t want to be with anybody else but you.
John.
